By Barry Secrest

Excerpt From Latest Article:

Our Globe Is, Like, Really Cool...

We would be remiss if we did not also report that the "Global Warming Data Hoax," which was revealed about 14 days ago, has finally been reported by the American Media..,well sort of, anyway.  A news report from the NY Times titled "Climate Scientists starting to Fight Back" has indicated that the Scientists, in essence, have "had enough of the abuse that has been heaped upon them just because of a few central lies" (paraphrased) and will now be mounting an aggressive effort to strike back.  Their preferred weapon of retaliative choice?  Well...umm..."admit their mistakes, open up their data and reshape the way that they work ."  Ouch!  Now that's just not fair!  Please, oh please, don't hurt us with your truthful data...

If I may, dear, dear bright fellows of Science Fiction-- your prescribed method of fighting back sounds painfully like you have not learned your lessons as of yet.  You propose to fight back with a weapon that you threw down and left rusting in the snow long, long ago.  That weapon will not function any longer.  Why not choose a newer, sleeker weapon in an effort to shore up the "actual data" which was, in fact, at odds with the prior fiction?  The updated research should try to prove that the globe is now cooling and that we must ready ourselves for what could be the true tragedy.

This, my egalitarian egg-headed friends, could enrich you beyond the dreams of avarice, even while the President has recently reasserted his aims at battling Global Warming via new taxation.  Just think of the energy, fossil fuel, agricultural and food processing companies which might come your way in order to fight the scourge of climate change that is Global Cooling.  Shortened growing seasons, humans freezing in moderate climes--why the golden scientific dividends could be staggering in the riches that would be produced....Hey! just saying--if you intend to continue your fouled research, you at least need to change the story around a bit--maybe make a movie--2013 perhaps?  Or we can bring in Geneticists who can program our genes to grow us a plush coat of fur and increase our blubber.  Just think of the fashion implications--not to mention the boost in government research grants...

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