This past week has been historic in that the President thoughtfully invited himself into the House of Representatives, our living rooms, and our children’s classrooms in order to regale us with his tortuous tale of how difficult a time he was having in getting Congress, the Senate, and "We The People" (Gun-Hugging, Clinging-to-Our-Religion Peasants) to drop our pitchforks and lottery tickets and simply go along with his self-important, imbecilic Statists' agenda.

The President's "incessant braying," vividly reminding us all of where the (historical) Democrat logo must have come from, was plaintive and rather arrogant during his rambling, ranted address.

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC), during the address, had the nerve to blurt out "He's a liar" several times, leading multiple Statists news-media-rock-stars to frown on the lack of decorum shown by Rep. Wilson and his impertinent attitude towards the "Messianic Mogul of Statism." These Media Mavens then hastened to point out that this had never been done before and compared it to British Parliament, where in fact this has happened in our vaunted Halls many times before—most memorably during an address by Bush in 2004 in which a large gaggle of House Democrats hurled all sorts of unspeakable epithets at Bush when he indicated that "social security was going broke and that something must be done.” (How shocking and yet strangely prophetic.)

The APPARENT pattern emerging here is easy for anyone to see. If the congressional epithet in question (being hurled) is directed at a President whom is "Telling the Truth," then the hurler shall be shouted down and reviled. Conversely, if the epithets are being hurled at a President whom appears to be prevaricating, then "that is OK" since it is in keeping with Congresses' most "Esteemed Traditions."

What Actually Happened?

The fact is that Rep. Wilson had a good reason to vent on the President. You see, the Democrats actually struck down (2) amendments to the bill (HR3200) which would have (A) barred illegal immigrants from access to government healthcare and (B) barred abortions from being funded by the government under the Bill. Obama adamantly maintained during his speech that the aforementioned items could never happen with the new legislation. If, indeed, the President is speaking truthfully, then why did the Democrats strike these (2) amendments down? This was why Rep. Wilson chose to interrupt the President’s tele-prompted address. Both the President and Congress should, perhaps, perform an offensive huddle in order to get their facts straight if their desire is to not be embarrassingly shouted down in front of the entire world.

Rep. Wilson performed over the past several days a mixed bag of Mea Culpas and explanations defending his position; however, he should understand that although the Democrats are now banging money into his opposition counterparts' war chest (see S.C.’s Wilson Rakes in $750,000 in Less than 48 Hours) for the upcoming election, he is now a hero to a preponderance of Americans (whom are concerned about their respective liberties being violated). In addition, he now has tons of political capital to spend allowing him to eschew the "Good Ole Boy" network that is forcing him into these wretched apologies. This newly gained capital is in the account of Rep. Wilson; one wonders if he will now find it and utilize it?

As a result of all of this, our Democrat-dominated Congress is clamoring all over themselves in an effort to censure Rep. Wilson for his indiscrete outburst (or declare a "Resolution of Disapproval"). In our tireless effort at Conservative Refocus to aid those whom are serving "We the People," we have found an ideal model for our "Overtly Theatrical Congressional Body," which might actually aid their approval numbers while offering boundless entertainment to The Masses in the form of a Cultural Classic Sci-Fi Ceremony. This particular "Klingon Discommodation Ceremony" in which the Players (Congress) all discuss the Discommodee's (Wilson) "execrable act" and then fold their arms up in a death-like pose and COLLECTIVELY pirouette 180’ in place, which ultimately results in their backs all being turned on the Victim being censured. However, rather than try to explain this further, we have delightfully provided a clip for your viewing pleasure: PLAY VIDEO.

Also in the news, we have the ACORN scandal, already wrapped up in countless voter fraud arrests and queries, in which several employees were shown to be coaching a fictitious pimp and his prostitute on how to get around federal law and taxation in addition to discussing with them how to avoid problems in bringing 14 year old girls into the country and using them as brothel fodder. The Associated Press, in a 9/12 report by Hope Yen, indicates that the actual captured video footage had been shown only on Fox News, thereby having been eschewed by the mainstream network news.

Congress—and at the direction of the White House—has authorized over $2 Billion in stimulus money to go towards this organization in the next 12 months. This SNAFU apparently has resulted in a split between ACORN and the Census Bureau, which "had" plans to utilize the group for the next census.

Modulating the ACORN Census Count Satirically

I am sure a great number of count worthy mice, geese, roaches, cats (and various other creatures from assorted "phylum") deftly avoided having their names known and spread about by ACORN, which could only have caused them further problems in the long run. Of greatest concern: These Varied Vermin being forced into a healthscare diet mandated by the "possible" new legislation.

I am told that mice disdain tofu along with most other discerning creatures. This is possibly due to the phytoestrogens found in tofu that "could hypothetically" impair the males' staggering reproductive imperative. I am sure that Congress and the President will address this "all important issue" along with the other "questionable but seemingly obscure items" which have been at the forefront of their legislative agenda to date. We can also expect the extreme feminists to weigh in heavily on this matter. One need not point out which side they will fall on.

There is no time to lose in addressing this important issue. Perhaps stimulus funds have already been procured and studious professors all over the world will now be dusting off their microscopes to engage this consequence. Funding Accountants and Lobbyists are "uncontrollably salivating," while Al Gore comes out as the original "researcher," self-noted as having invented phytoestrogens, and will no doubt point out how this could effect global temperatures. Before long we might all forget how the whole thing got started (if you get my drift...) **Note: These last two paragraphs of satire should communicate how Conservative Refocus feels about "most" current disaster scenarios being bandied about and legislated into a false reality by The Powers That Be (and is probably no less valid). True common sense must certainly be a value which the President would liken to "spunk" in a senior Citizen—not worthy of legitimizing and difficult to "subjectively evaluate" (see transcript of Obama’s Town Hall Meeting in Grand Junction, Colorado).

Simply put, the problems we are facing culturally, financially and politically are a direct result of humoring the egg-headed Socialistic "Global Thinkers" of today rather than paying grand attention to our "Old-Fashioned Free Market Elders" (you know—the ones that beat back and defeated the Communists and the Fascists whom wished us harm over the last 60 years) and helped push America into the Financial Powerhouse and Cultural melting pot of hard workers that it is…or...was. Regardless, these people, whom know far more than us younger folk, because of their life experiences and wisdom, are not being heard as deftly. I expect we could place cardboard cut-out silhouettes at each helm or position in our current government and (un-remarkably) fare better than we currently are!

Sometimes simply staying the course of the huge Enterprise that is our country, thru the maelstrom of stormy seas that is this world, is enough. Altering course at each wave that crashes, as if trying to outmaneuver the next, will often result in a foundering or--at best-- laboring much harder towards its objective which in this case would simply be Blessedly Calmer Waters.

Barry Secrest