Liberal Isle

(Sung to the tune of “Gilligan’s Isle”)

 

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful blip

That started from a tropic port

Without a certificate.

Barack was a mighty salient man,

Joe Biden brave but slow,

With ACORN’s help they won the day

And the government would grow, and the government would grow.

The markets started getting rough,

America was tossed,

If not for the courage of the citizens

The US would be lost, the US would be lost.

The Country’s folk stood ground behind the Constitution’s might

Against the President,

The White House Czars,

The radicals, Rahm and Wright

The Media too,

The Professor and Geithner’s plan

Here on Liberal Isle.

 

Conservative Refocus

Barry Secrest

It was December of 2009, as America readied for its "most wonderful time of the year," Obama's little elves in the Senate were scurrying about, even at the strangest of hours, busily crafting what they referred to as the most important piece of legislation since the New Deal.  We agreed that it was indeed important but for vastly different reasons. The irony of all ironies was that this piece of legislation would, inevitably, be important in the exact same way that Hurricane Katrina, the financial meltdown or even the 9/11 tragedy were important:  In their resultant devastating consequences. 

When Obamacare was then initially challenged on a Constitutional basis by the Republican Senators, Senator Harry Reid promptly accused them of being "proponents of slavery" and "partisan."  This prompted us to note that if Reid actually molted his skin on the floor of the Senate and emerged as the pincered reptilian "Kurog from the planet Greazidom" with twitching antennae and all--most of us would be nonplussed--such were his over-the-top anti-constitutional antics over the past year.  We further mused that the Senators and Congressmen would be wise to keep on-hand large quantities of prophylactics for what they seemed to be repeatedly doing to American Citizens.

January saw members of the Extreme Left ironically voicing their outrage at the President for his failure at immediately introducing everyone to Big Brother.  One disenchanted moderate writer who had voted for Obama stated that she had not understood that the "change" Obama kept repeating in his malodorous chant was a euphemism for "Big Government" while another Lefty professor obliterated Obama...in language that many on the "Extreme Right" would not even consider due to Obama's apparent failures at immediately installing every radical Uber-liberal platform known to man.

Lord of the Fries (When Michelle Ain't Looking)

Not to be outdone, Obama weighed in to this angst-ridden mix stating, "the anger that elected Scott Brown is the same anger that elected me, and it goes back eight years."  In other words, Massachusetts has apparently elected its first Republican Senator since the 1970s because it was still furious at George W. Bush.

Obama later in January attended a meeting in a classroom of sixth graders where, in what could have been a Saturday Night Live comedy skit, set up a podium along with the requisite "dual" teleprompters, and regaled the sixth graders to a teleprompted speech replete even with gaze turreting from one side of the classroom to the other...in true "Lord of The Flies" form.

As the economy continued its darkening, with both homes and jobs being lost all over the US, it moved us to note that our lives, in this economy, had been a continual experience of enduring long periods of boredom punctuated by extreme bouts of abject terror.

In fact, the President and Congress had shot out of the figurative "holding Pen" that was January 2009 like a Mad Bull on a rampage within the "Fine China Shop" that was the American Economy.  The Statists predictably smashed into and careened off of the often fragile free capitalistic principles of our nation much like a mad, "bucking bovinic demolition team" of damage. Whirling and kicking anything that might improve the economy, make a profit, or hire employees yearning for work,  the Administration's constant threat of (or actual attempt to) tax anything that moved was what, in large part part, had soured the economy.

Republican RINO turned Democrat, Senator Arlen Specter, was busy in other ways.  Specter, who switched from the Republicans to the Democrats the previous year, accomplished one of the best impersonations of a Jackass that we had yet seen. One must remember that his whole apparent purpose for switching sides was to go with the most popular party...alas.

February

During his incoherent State of The Union Speech, the President lambasted pretty much every person in the Hall.  He then noted that the locked out Republicans seemed to be the party of NO, and that blocking legislation just for the sake of blocking it was not good for the American people, while blaming the Democratic Legislators. The President also chided Government monetary policy--ostensibly his own decisions--when he indicated that the Government acts as if it is spending "Monopoly money," and cannot continue spending in this manner.  Comically making his own point, he then promptly shocked us all by presenting a mammoth 2010 budget totaling $3.7 Trillion dollars.

Obama, later on in his speech, actually reverse-heckled the Supreme Court Justices concerning the United Decision and corporate campaign contributions--showing his continually increasing oafishness to no less than a thunderous standing ovation from the entire body of clueless Democrats.  When Judge Alito silently mouthed "that's not true," the Press went ape against Alito's silent outburst--nevermind the President's just having excoriated the entire Supreme Court Bench.

In other comical interludes, the President, considered erudite and elitely educated, was served a long overdue dish of "inspired contrition."  During a speech, the President continually referred to an heroic Navy Corpsman as a "Corpse Man" making us all wonder if the President's praise for the active-duty member was perhaps being delivered posthumously.

Meanwhile increasingly befuddled Liberal Columnist Paul Krugman came out defending the massive deficits the government had been running as being good for America.  We expectfully noted that Krugman's future articles, in continuation of his "spend everything" line of reasoning, should also include a few titles much like these for his rather odd future considerations:

 

• The Great Thing about Being in a Head-on Collision
• Getting Shot in the Head Can Be Fun If Not Forgettable
• How to Induce  and Prolong a Pit-bull Attack
• Playing Nude Hide and Seek with the Brown Recluse
• How to Increase Your Chances of Being in a Plane Crash

Later, the Dalai Lama, who typically wears a sleeveless robe as his traditional garb, failed to give mental pause to the White House's departing gift of a set of cuff links for Heavens sake. Previous gifts by the Obama White house to other Heads of State had included an iPod loaded with Broadway tunes for the British Queen--we can all certainly see her Highness be-bopping to American show tunes with ear pods blazing.  But lets not forget the "economical" boxset of 25 movie DVD's for British prime Minister Gordon Brown that--oops!-- will not function in a typical United Kingdom  DVD player (Skeet anyone)?

Here were our suggestions for future White House gifting:

• Evangelist Billy Graham:  Best of Penthouse Magazine Collection (on DVD)
• Black Liberation Theologian Reverend Eugene Wright:  Southern Civil War Battle Flag Collection
• Visually-challenged Musician Stevie Wonder:  Monet's Brilliance as a Painter, Collected Works (on European-formatted DVD)
• Conservative Governor Sarah Palin:  Animated comedy, "The Family Guy," Boxed DVD Set (All Years)
• Liberal Senator Al Franken:  Lifetime Subscription to Rush 24/7 --to include the Limbaugh Letter
• Contritionist Golfer Tiger Woods:  How to Meet, Pickup, and Seduce Hot Women

During the latter part of February, we learned that the President, as a means to figure out what to do about "his spending,"  had launched a Blue Ribbon Commission in order to study the problem of "his spending," which would end up being nothing more than a pitiful spectacle of "Group Legislative Masturbation" for old men in its ultimate outcome.

The Plane...

During March, the media was taken aback by a suicide attack against the IRS by no less than a civilian aircraft. Joe Stack's manifesto indicated:

"The Communist's Creed: From each according to his ability to each according to his need."

"The Capitalist's Creed: From each according to his gullibility to each according to his Greed."

Which branded him as a radical leftie.  An embarrassed liberal media and punditry chose to downplay this particular fact.

But even while our riches and our rights were continually drained away, we at least had the solace of that age-old recreational act of "fishing"--well--OK, at least for a little while longer since His Majesty "The Fisher King Obama" had decreed that he will now exert efforts at controlling if not curtailing the art of " angling."  One supposes breathing is next in order to wipe out our Carbon Dioxide proliferation.  (The trees are going to be really pissed!)

A news report from the NY Times titled "Climate Scientists starting to Fight Back" had indicated that the Scientists have "had enough of the abuse that has been heaped upon them just because of a few central lies" (paraphrased) and  striking back.  Their preferred weapon of retaliative choice?  Well...umm..."admit their mistakes, open up their data and reshape the way that they work ."  Ouch!  Now that's just not fair!  Please, oh please, don't hurt us with your truthful data...

The astroturfed Coffee Party came in to short-lived fruition, seeming to be the feeble, mewlingly-moderate answer to the potent Tea Party coalition.  This promped us to note that Congress would be in really "big trouble" if a "Beer Party" came into fruition.  An even later attempt would be known as "No Labels."

Also in March, an earnest FCC (via net neutrality) had turned its attention into swiping a large part of the bandwidth in the transmittal realm, which begs the point that we have learned by slow necessity over time; anytime  Progressive Governance turrets its leering gaze into one particular sector--look out!  Something is going to be coddled, which then turns into a squeeze, which then turns into a grip, which then turns into a suffocating embrace of coiled constriction.  Then and only then is the item of interest devoured--headfirst always, and then slowly digested and made a part of the consuming "Authority."

Finally a majority of Americans were stunned after the budget shattering Healthcare Bill was passed by the Liberals in the House.  The President, in a later stump speech, stated that after the passage of healthcare coverage, premiums would go down by a remarkable 3,000%.  We could only perceive this to mean that insurance companies would heroically pay individuals "lottery like sums" to take out coverage.

There were also cries of racism aginst the Tea Party yet again, prompting Al Sharpton to note with uncharacteristic lucidity that"the American people overwhelmingly voted for Socialism when they elected President Obama."  This obviously left us all scratching our heads that we have finally found something on which we can agree as it regards the Rev. Sharpton.

March came to an end along with John Dingell's political life after dropping this gem of a quote:

"It takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the People." Senior Congressman John D. Dingell, Democrat, Michigan  3/23/10

What Do Monkeys, Cocaine, Hot Flashes and Dancing Have In Common?

April saw the truth about the stimulus coming out in spades. The following was a list, courtesy of the Civitas Institute, of just a few of the dubious Stimulus Jobs created  in North Carolina:

Study of Monkeys using Cocaine $ 71,623.00

Monkeys are, indeed, integral in our economy for reasons as yet unknown.

North Carolina Dance Theater $ 50,000

This was to retain 4 "professional dancers" for North Carolina Dance Theatre's Second Company.  We wondered if perhaps either Mike Easly or the RNC was involved in this decision.

Reducing Hot Flashes through Yoga $ 147,694

This one, in particular, should be bifurcated into the "Green Energy Program."  The heat energy which is produced by menopausal Women could, most likely, power  small cities all over the country, which could greatly reduce our dependence upon foreign oil.

Collecting, researching, and reporting on the stimulus act $ 492,940

Interesting to note that Bureaucracy seemed to get the lion's share, so far.

Create Interactive Dance Performance Technology $ 762,372

Dance, again?  The one thing that's lacking in our economy--no doubt--the ability to interactively dance...with technology.  They should try this one in conjunction with the cocaine monkeys.

American Dance Festival Inc. $ 50,000

North Carolina-- "Let's dance!"

Construction of New Town Hall in Bladenboro $ 300,000

This one item should actually produce jobs, as well as providing North Carolinians a place to dance, interactively, with Simian Cokeheads while performing Yoga to reduce hotflashes.

Preservation of an insect collection at NC State $ 253,123

Insects need jobs, too?  We were unsure as to exactly why bugs needed preservation when a substantial portion of our economy was dedicated to exterminating them, but there we are.

At the conclusion of Obama's Nuclear Summit, the President stated the following: "It is a vital national security interest of the United States to reduce these conflicts because whether we like it or not, we remain a dominant military superpower"

In a poll of the American people by CBSNEWS/NY Times, 52%  of the American people felt as if the President was leading the Country towards Socialism.

May

The Country become more racially divided than it had ever been, in addition to being broke, while we witnessed the highest foreclosure rates since Noah and minorities, including Blacks, had been harder hit than any other sector.

The illegals issue came to the fore with Liberals,when confronted with the subject of what the US should, evaded the question continually in order to hide their non-admitted but mindful lack of "clear thinking" on the subject.  Virtually every Liberal could be heard, when disgorging on the subject of Illegal Aliens, dropping back into an offensive stance, building up the steam of hyperbole, and then launching strings of invective against their questioner when pressed--spittle flying, eyes roiling, veins bulging while haranguing their personal antagonist on the immorality of "racial profiling."

There was also an unexploded bomb being found in Time's Square NY where the Naturalized American suspect had ties with the Pakistan Taliban but failed to wear his "He-Man woman haters club international time decoder watch" (the detonation clocks were set to Pakistani time).   Another bomb-like devise was found in near proximity to a marathon race to be held that same day in Pittsburgh.

In Another extreme instance of coincidence, our latest understanding of the number of estimated Illegal Aliens in America had been reported by Homeland Security to be approximately 6.65 million while, ironically, the latest US unemployment numbers have been estimated at 6.995 Million by the Government...

Also In May, Mexico and our President "bilaterally" declared war on Arizona...by joining forces in a televised verbal pummeling session--before Congress--of Arizona for their "racist immigration law." Homeland Security's John Morton's commented: "We will not necessarily process illegal immigrants referred to us by the state of Arizona."  This left Americans stunned until we "thankfully" received the validating explanation--that being Morton's statement of the following:  "The best way to reduce illegal immigration is through a comprehensive Federal approach."  Oh, for Heaven's sake! Press Secretary position in Morton's future!

The Excessive Decrees Of EL Magnifico

In June, the latest Statist scheme from the FTC (Forget The Constitution), was a draft titled "potential policy recommendations to support the reinvention of journalism"  Here were just a few of the recommendations from the draft:

• Create a journalism division of Americorps which places up to 75,000 people with various non-profits on an annual basis.
• Increase public funding for public radio and television and provide grants to universities to conduct investigative journalism (but not of Government, silly)

The President's plans, unfortunately, did not end there--now the President had decided to own the economy of the Gulf Coast.  Yes indeed, the President, as with all inexperienced, neophyte, Liberal leaders reacted rather predictably to the Oil Spill after a 38 day decision.  This time he announced an "Executive Decree" which would effectively suspend (read end) the drilling operations of 33 deep sea drilling rigs for little or no reason.

The President had now succeeded in effectively firing 7,000 oil rig workers from their jobs along with the five support jobs which will be lost for each oil rig worker job. The total number of jobs just destroyed by El Magnifico would approach 42,000. Ultimately the people of the Gulf region began quietly praying that the President  stay in Washington; "We'll handle it from here...er...no need to trouble yourself with your busy schedule and all--but thanks so much for whatever it is that you have done, good Sir."

BP Chief Tony Hayward issued his pitifully inadequate statement of "wanting his life back" since the Gulf Disaster has now tragically taken it away.  Most in America could commiserate with Hayward's sullenness as we all now  harbored a  wistful desire to "have our lives back" as well--as we continued to navigate through the economically treacherous waters of "Obamanomics." The President later made up for a seeming lack of passion, by exhibiting his fiery demeanor and stating that his reasons for "standing in the rain" was so that he would know "whose ass to kick."

We later understood that the White House had fraudulently altered a completed report from a Presidentially appointed commission of experts regarding the drilling moratorium.

The President also announced his intent to  remake how Americans consume energy by moving away from  traditional fuels and switching us over to "imagi-fuel" (apparently). To explain, imagi-fuel is similar to the gluon, a theoretical particle in physics that cannot be proven to exist but simply must exist in order to make all the other theories work properly. Many later noted the startling similarities between Obama's Gulf speech and Carter's 70's era "Crisis of Confidence" speech which were, indeed, striking.

He Voted For Who?

Amazingly, we did find ourselves in total agreement with the President in his decision to sack General McChrystal as the commanding General in Afghanistan--but for decidedly different reasons. It was, in fact, our belief that any commanding General who actually voted for Obama for President, as McChystal allegedly did, shows a particular lack of discernment for a military expert in such a position which might also partially explain the lack of US success in Afghanistan thus far. The President was, however, most gracious in his dismissal speech regarding the General, as he no doubt wished to retain the General's sole remaining vote come 2012--assuming the country is still here, of course.

The President and Treasury Secretary Geithner,also  in late June, announced that America could no longer be the powering engine behind the world's economy and that the responsibility would now become the responsibility of other countries as America, in essence, falls into decline.

July

In July, the President's continued exasperated searching about for answers to fetch out of his "Liberal Statist Handbag" yielded nothing more than crumpled gum wrappers, strings of lint, and the occasional tarnished coinage among a large number of other comparatively useless items.

The President strongly denounced the terrorist organization Al Qaeda, for being racist in that they recruit and train Black Africans as suicide bombers without allowing them to reach positions of command within the organization.

We were also treated to lessons in re-languaging.  Napolitano indicated to all Government Departments that the Gulf Spill would be selectively  relanguaged to "the BP caused disaster" (Good Grief).  Also, the White House, in response to gales of criticism concerning the President's frequent forays into "playtime," which ostensibly included golfing, basketball, Republican squash and the like, decided to relanguage the President's recreational activities into what the Administration decided to be referred to as "clearing his mind," prompting us to relanguage a few other presidential activities:

• Should the President elect to have additional offspring, we recommend that the White House use the mystical term "Nephalim Creation"
• when the moment's right" rather than boorishly announcing it to everyone we would recommend the term "Procreative Glandular Evacuation,"
• "taking a bath" should now be "Self-Baptizing Event," which would inspire the Media's continued awe of the "Commandeer In Chief."

Later, there was the delightful news that the Justice Department were now dropping slam dunk case against the militant "Black Panther" members who were blocking precinct access to "certain voters"--which was clearly caught on tape.

Senator Harry Reid described the President as "light-skinned and with a dialect if he chooses to use it," regarding the President's intermittent use of "Black English Vernacular."  Even more "fascinating" was how Reid, who had been hammering away at Conservatives pretty much the entire year, as being "racists" or being "slave-mongers" and the like, suddenly appeared to be the one with the problem.

We were also finally rewarded the affirmation that not only are many if not most "Axis Press" Journalists smugly Liberal, but they also have a collusive agenda in actually plotting ways to journalistically protect certain "elected officials" via nothing less than "damage control" propaganda. The "Journolist" online chat-zone was where many of these "repeaters" met and continually plotted the various ways in which they could skew public opinion into their warped and often stunted way of Liberal rumination.

August saw Obama's continuing  "metronomic" slap in the face of the American people across a wide range of offenses. We promptly noted that the Chevy Volt should be thematically re-christened the "Ya volt!" after a "State Inspection" of GM by Obama.

As the policies of the last 18 months took firm hold in the land, the economy reacted predictably by essentially yawning and rolling over, sleepily pulling the covers of Government meddling tighter around its exhausted, confused frame.  While Government had either over-regulated or taken control of various companies, institutions and even industries under the auspices of "dire need," America had rapidly devolved into a faltering land of missed opportunity.

"Let them Eat Soy Cakes"

"The Let Them Eat Cake" tour also occurred in August, in which the High Priestess of Liberalism, The Grand Lady Obama, put together a vacation entourage upwards of 70 individuals.  This high-powered tour then jetted off to Spain in Air Force Two in order to enjoy a delightful week of hedonism at one of the most expensive resorts in Europe, while the President elected to stay at home, no doubt in a hilarious effort to avoid any bad press or undue attention.

Also in August, foodstamp usage by Americans grew to an all time high; we had a state threatening to sell a National Park due to a disastrous economy; we had Social Security actually entering into the red for the first time ; we learned that State controlled, Citizen-owned  GM  had been donating to Democratic causes, jobless claims were up again, and Elena Kagan's ascended to her post as Justice of the Supreme Court while rumors of her incessant defense of Obama's, still unavailable, original Birth Certificate continued to surface.

Then there was the  figurative exclamation point as to how far America had quickly fallen as a nation. In Atlanta, GA, a mob of over 30,000 people waited under a searing sun for just the opportunity to fill out Public Housing Assistance vouchers.  One reporter who surveyed the scene was shocked to the point of stating that he felt as if he were witnessing "a scene from Uganda," which is a Third World developing nation at best.

This prompted us to note that we, as Americans, were now convinced that our leadership had been taken over by either escaped jabbering lunatics from a bizarre parallel Universe or perhaps even body snatching Aliens from another planet.  The stream of nonsensical invective had now reached a siren-like pitch. The babbling had even consternated the "Axis Press" to the point of numerous reports calling the White House's message "incoherent," which might be considered generous in this case.

During his speech at the President's annual Iftar, Obama forcefully ruminated that Muslims had every right to construct a Mosque at Ground Zero--this to a hearty round of applause from the attendees.  The Media, in an apparent "see we told you so" rejoinder,  then dutifully paraded this fact to us common folk, which predictably, went over like a prize winning pig at a passover sedar.  The combined uproar caused the President to immediately backpedal the following day.

A rarely memorable Robert Gibbs, actually being right for once--noted that perhaps the entire Professional Left needed to be drug tested--which, we pointed out to Gibbs, would most likely wipe out Obama's entire base in one fell swoop, while improving Mexico's debilitating drug cartel problems.

September

Yet another terrorist incident.  The most recent attack came from an angry Leftist "environmental wacko" who was apparently suffused with issues.  The terrorist in question, James Lee, was summarily executed on the spot.  Turns out he was apparently angry at the Discovery Channel for mystifyingly spawning public antipathy towards global warming, overpopulation, energy misuse and many of the other typical elitist, hot-button issues of the increasingly misinformed Left.

We were most relieved to understand that Lee must have utilized the dreaded "green bomb" which, in typical green fashion, failed in its designed function.  Regardless, as with the IRS plane bomber, and the recent New York City car bomber, we Conservatives had been waiting to see how some ranting Progressive will somehow turn this incident, yet again, into an indirect result of the Tea Party's rise.

The US State Department "reported" the State of Arizona to the United Nation's Human Rights Commission under the obvious approval of a sitting--or worse, vacationing-- President. Obama, rather comically, became the "Messianic Snitch" of his own people, while Jay Leno reported that one in five disappointed Kenyans now believed that Obama was born in Hawaii.

When 'The One" Turns Out to Be the Worst Migraine You Ever Had

While the President, it would seem, showed us his amazing ability to turn anything that he either touches or even dispassionately gazes at for any length of time into either a pillar of stone or a pile of steaming spoor.  It is, indeed, true that history had rarely recorded a leader who has a Medusa like gaze generously coupled with a universally dreaded anti-Midas touch. Starkly evidenced was this fact while the President's now reluctant Democratic brethren fled in every direction from Obama's appearances while campaigning for office.

Stephen Colbert, the anchor of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" --which is a show that essentially mocks Conservatism--was invited to testify in his "comedy character" before Congress by the Democrats.

October saw the President bizarrely comparing the "freeing of the slaves" to his morose economy.  Meanwhile Barney Frank, for the first time in his Congressional career, found himself in the rare position of  "being in a tight one" in Massachusetts and regretting it--while also presenting the ostensibly rare situation of his actually not enjoying  the possibility of going down en flambe'.  We also had reports of hyper-space illegal aliens tampering with nukes which caused the United Nations to designate an official for the global purpose of greeting space aliens, a galactic Wal-mart Greeter on steroids...sort of.

Rahm Emanuel's departure --from POTUS Chief of Staff to Chicago Mayor--being hailed as a "wow" event --which seemed more to us like going from french truffles to canned sardines--even while the remaining members of Obama's staff departed as a result of their finally running out of bad ideas.

Corporate food monster McDonald's was reported in the Wall Street Journal as being unable to comply with the Federal mandates enumerated by Obamacare.  McDonald's had apparently indicated that they would be cutting insurance for at least 30,000 employees unless something could be done.  The response from a now self-traumatized Administration was seemingly hasty indeed in granting a waiver.

In keeping with the festival of horror atmosphere of 2010, we noted that even the US Government had donned "We now are Goth apparel" by apparently sending out over 89,000 stimulus checks to the dead people of America for a reported cost of $ 22 million dollars.

Bring Out Your Dead...

Remembering that both Obama and the Democrats seemed expert in getting out the "dead vote" in the last election, we wondered if, perhaps, their latest "alms for the dead program" was nothing more than a veiled attempt at hoping the dead would work their magic yet again in the November elections. Think about it, the dead are a perfect special interest group for the Democrats in that they use very little space, require no oxygen, have little if any carbon footprint, can't reproduce and overcrowd the planet and have been highly descriminated against in the past by life itself.  Most importantly, they offer little if any hope for America's future--and are a stridently silent base, having no active memory at all--i.e perfect Democratic subjects.

Another item of political news that gave everyone a bit of a shiver was what occurred during Obama's October 6th, 2010 speech at the "Forbes Most Powerful Women" summit in Pittsburgh. In what many Americans took to be a very bad omen (just in time for Halloween) the Presidential Seal actually fell from the podium and clattered to the floor of its own mysterious accord.

The President later apparently devolved into a mass of quivering rage at the one entity which had brutally exercised its expertise at furthering that which Obama despises more than any other entity known to the  man.  Was it some dreaded disease which causes one's extremities to quickly decay and fall off?  No, it was The US Chamber Of Commerce, that pillowy haven for ultra-Capitalists whose main job it is to figure out ways to promote American Industry. David Axelrod later appeared on Face The Nation, where Bob Schieffer--upon hearing Axelrod's explanation as to who the White House was going after, and why--seemed to slump in near disbelief.  He actually stated to Axelrod: "Is that all you've got?" To which Axelrod then verbally pedaled up Schiefer's near vertical incline of disappointment at a furious rate, but to no avail.

November

In a speech that the President gave, once again, catering to a specific racial group, while denigrating those who weren't immediately watching, the President referred to those individuals who think that amnesty is not such a grand idea as "our enemies."

This brought to mind the President's hero, Saul Alinsky, who wrote the book Rules For Radicals, and its fawning appreciation of evil incarnate, literally in the form of a dedication to Lucifer himself. Alinsky actually wrote that Satan or Lucifer was the first of all radicals and won a Kingdom all his own by railing against the establishment.

After losing the House and nearly the Senate, the President fled on an Asian tour where the Indians were comically taken aback by the fact that the great and brilliant Messiah, the Communicado-in-Chief, refused to utter nary a silvery-tongued syllable unless his blessed teleprompters were strategically installed around a temporary dais of mis-information.  The bemused Indians were quite taken aback as a result--"We thought Obama as a trained orator and skilled in the art of mass address with his continuous eye contact"-- wryly noted one official whose voice seemed eerily familiar.  To which we responded, No my dear foreign friend, you have understandably confused what seems as ordinary eye contact with what is actually Obama's hypnotic third eye contact--a totally different medium of expression. Oh, and thanks for helping me with that bitchy modem problem, by the way; we Americans often fail to say thank you properly.

In fact the historical November elections performed the powerful feat  of removing  63 House Democratic seats and 6 in the Senate at this writing, a tectonic shift in which one would have to reach back over 70 years to find as a similar occurrence in American history. In response "former" Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi pitched an "unvictory party"  for the ostensable reason of having created one of the two new jobs that became available in the United States in 2010 for Rep. Jim Clyburn. The Other was created by Senator Harry Reid in order to:

"Better integrate our legislative-and message-crafting functions into a coordinated nucleus managing policy, press and politics,"  Translation: we need to improve our messaging.

Based upon this particular memo to his party, many then surmised that the loss of the House, near loss of the Senate, the precipitously dropping popularity of the President, total disdain of Federal policies from most US Allies coupled with a burgeoning loss of confidence by the people regarding nearly all branches of the Government was nothing more than "simple miscommunication."

Grope Or Scope?

Also in December, the TSA's of America brought a whole new meaning to the term "bad to the bone."  Searching for IED's is one thing, but these guys could even ferret out IUD's among other certain unmentionables.  In addition,  we observed that the Government could save hundreds of billions of dollars by combining several Government healthcare screening programs into one mammoth program to be offered at selected airports, which would offer lung cancer screening, mammograms and even retributional colonoscopies to those few travelers who "just don't quite get it."

The fallout from Wikileaks continued to wow the world at how clueless the US Government has "suddenly" become, the Liberals have taken up the chant formerly of the Tea Party, now directed at the President, that chant rather miraculously being-- "just say no"-- even while Bill Clinton stepped into the fray and even took center-podium to actually deflect criticism away from a besieged Obama.  Potus Fellatious actually on stage with Potus Narcissistus himself and the Ex-Potus takes center stage!

The White House then announced that Rock Star Jon Bon Jovi had been appointed to Obama's Community Solutions program  To which we pointed out--only the ever brilliant Obama could actually choose a Star best known for a song called "Living On A Prayer" to represent his economically clueless Administration.

After the lame duck session ended we reasoned that if whale excrement were of a sentient nature, it would lie deeply submerged in gelatinous envy, prayerfully admiring the daunting depths to which this Congress and its President have consistently sunk as 2010 drew to a close.

The 111th Congress--Her Take:

"And in so doing, we keep our promise to drain the swamp that is Washington, D.C., to let sunshine disinfect the Congress. We have promised the highest ethical standard, and we will deliver it, in an open and honest government."~Nancy Pelosi

Our Take:

Government, the final frontier, these were the voyages of the 111th Congress.  Its four year mission (almost), to explore strange new Authoritarian rules, to seek out new strife and new Totalitarian civilizations, to boldly go where no US Government had gone before~que music.

 

So this is the tale of the Socialists

They’re here for a long, long time,

We’ll have to make the best of things

It’s a downhill slide.

The FirstMate and the President

Will do their very best

To make the others pay what’s due

With not a moment’s rest.

No phone, no lights, no motor cars,

Not a single luxury

Like Robinson Crusoe,

True Marxists we will be.

So join us here each week my friends

You’re sure to get a smile

Each seven days of liberal hell

(Until we go to trial...)